Living Without Regrets
How can we change our internal dialogue to free ourselves from the burden of living with regret?
I can honestly say that I don’t have any regrets. I’ll admit that there were times in my life when I wish I had done things differently, but as far as regrets go, there aren’t any. One reason why I don’t live with regrets is that they weigh me down and keep me from living the best life I can. By extension, I could say that regrets act like an anchor that keep me from “going with the flow.” Not only that, the anchor keeps me focused on the past rather being present NOW and living in the moment.
One of the greatest benefits from living in the now is that it’s easier to let go of the worries and concerns that are part of our human experience. We’re always going to have worries and concerns, but living in the now and enjoying the present moment allows us to shift our perspective. A concern can become an opportunity. A worry can teach us how to let go, be okay with whatever is going on, and allow ourselves (and the people in our lives) to find a path that brings us the greatest joy.
I was reminded of that this week when I was beating myself up for not having written any blog posts for a while. I’ve been absent in many areas of my life since September, and my self-criticism could have easily turned into a regret. Rather than letting that happen, I changed my conversation from “Why?” to “What?” My question of “why can’t I get out of this rut?” turned into “what can I do that I like?” Once my dialogue shifted and I started doing things for fun rather than necessity, I recognized that my human side was out of balance with the greater part of me.
Why was I out of balance? Truthfully, the “why” doesn’t matter. What I can say is that I’ve been going through another one of my occasional growth spurts. While I would prefer my personal evolution to be more like a slow and steady advance, it has in reality been more like a river run. There have been long stretches of slow, steady, peaceful advancement, but those slow and steady times are often followed by short bursts nail-biting, heart-stopping, stomach-churning rides through rapids of emotions as I step outside of my comfort zone.
The past few months have been one of the more intense rapid rides I’ve been on in a while. The human part of me has been willing to go with the flow and be guided by my connection to Source Energy, but human me has still been panicked and scared out of his mind. Human me had gotten complacent and comfortable with this life, so when greater me decided that it was time to shake things up, human me wasn’t very happy. He reacted by freaking out and withdrawing from nearly every activity he typically enjoys.
There was a time I would’ve called that an episode of major depression, and I guess from a medical standpoint that’s what happened. Greater me didn’t see my reaction as an episode of depression however. Instead, I saw my near total withdrawal for what it was; a way to get used the changes taking place. I had started a new job, I had moved into a new apartment, I was getting more downloads from “The Collective” than I ever had in the past, and people around me were going through their own massive changes ranging from marriage to transitioning back to Source.
If I had focused on “why” instead of “what,” I would be really miserable right now. I’m not, however. I’m living with gratitude instead. I’m grateful that I respected my human side enough to give him the space he needed to get used to all of the changes taking place. I’m also glad that instead of continuing the dialogue of judgment and criticism, I allowed myself to balance out naturally. I’m now emerging from my self-imposed exile and engaging with the people around me in deeper, more profound ways.
Do I have any regrets about the past few months? No. Everything is as it should be.
About the Author
Appio Hunter is an author, speaker, spiritual guide, and a guy dedicated to raising our collective EQ. He uses his seminars and workshops to facilitate conversations about authenticity, alignment, awareness, and the experience of community, connection, and joy. Appio is also a weekly columnist with The Good Men Project and co-host of the Real Men Feel Show along with his good friend Andy Grant.