Making Yourself Happy
To the human part of us, it is easier to put responsibility for our happiness on external factors and other people than to take responsibility for ourselves.
One of the most common laments of the human condition is a widely-held belief that people do not know how to make themselves happy. Before continuing, it is important to point out that you cannot “make” yourself happy, because you’re already connected to the Source of Joy. You are a physical representation of Joy. You are naturally happy and joyful. Forcing happiness goes against your very nature. If anything, forcing happiness causes further misalignment, which leads to greater feelings of discomfort.
Although you cannot “make” yourself happy, there are things you can do to express your joy in ways that reinforce your alignment with your total self. You can start by paying attention to how YOU are living YOUR live rather than by paying attention to how others are living theirs. Every time you divert your attention away from how you are conducting your affairs, you are taking your focus from your personal expressions of joy.
When you put your attention on what others are doing, you are in essence saying, “You are responsible for making me feel good, and I can only feel good if you are doing something I like or I agree with.” By doing that, you violate the most fundamental Tenet of Joyous Living; which is that you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness except your own, and by extension, that others are not responsible for your happiness.
Dissatisfaction with one’s own life is a big reason why humans look outside of themselves for joy. When you are in a state of dissatisfaction with yourself, it is easier to look away in order to divert attention from parts of your life you don’t like. To the human part of us, it is easier to put responsibility for our happiness on external factors and other people than to take responsibility for ourselves.
Taking responsibility for yourself doesn’t have to be difficult nor traumatic. You can choose to be the best person you know how to be in this moment and act in a way that is aligned with that knowledge. Or, if you are convinced that you don’t know how to be a good person, you can choose to act like the person you want to be, and then align your actions with that vision. When your thoughts and actions are in sync, your mind believes THAT is your reality, and the environment around you shifts to reflect the reality you created simply by bringing your thoughts and actions into alignment with each other.
Remember that you are the master creator of your life. You create experiences through your thoughts and actions, and those experiences are what keep you aligned with your natural expressions joy, or that knock you out of balance. Be assured that when you live in the moment and choose thoughts and actions that feel good right now, you will find that there is no need to make yourself happy. Indeed, you will see that your entire human experience is the ultimate expression of your personal joy.
About the Author
Appio Hunter is an author, speaker, spiritual guide, and a guy dedicated to raising our collective EQ. He uses his seminars and workshops to facilitate conversations about authenticity, alignment, awareness, and the experience of community, connection, and joy. Appio is also a weekly columnist with The Good Men Project and co-host of the Real Men Feel Show along with his good friend Andy Grant.