What Should I Do?
A perspective from Samuel:
One of the most common questions we get in our public forums and private sessions is, “Should I ___?”, or other its other variant, “What should I do?” We love this question for its elegant simplicity because you can apply it to virtually any decision.
However, when we are asked this question, it usually relates to major decisions affecting one’s life. We find that when you start pondering what you should do, it is because you have a belief that you can only enjoy personal happiness when the people around you are happy. Most often there is a perception that if you make the wrong decision, it will cause other people to be unhappy and that you are somehow responsible for ensuring their happiness. We have said this before and we want to be clear now: You are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness but your own.
Remember that Source does not judge any decision you make. We support everything you do because we know that everything you do is motivated by one desire; to feel good doing it. Therefore, it is important for you to understand that happiness and joy come from within and only from within. Every time you look outside of yourself in order to feel good, you end up frustrated and angry. Yes, there are things that can trigger feelings of joy within you, just as there are circumstances that trigger feelings of anger, fear, or resentment – but those feelings still come from within you.
We hope you notice that we distinguish between things and circumstances. By things, we mean anything natural or manmade that you can appreciate, such as baby animals or a beautiful painting. By circumstances, we mean situations that involve you and, in most case, another human being. Be aware that any circumstances – joyful or not – are inevitably created by you and the thoughts you think. When you look to circumstances or conditions to feel happy, you are forsaking your responsibility for your personal joy and putting that responsibility on someone else.
Just as you complain about the unfairness of living up to expectations placed on you by others in order for them to feel happy, other people react the same way when you place those expectations on them in order for you to feel happy. When you stop expecting circumstances or people to change so you can feel better, you will no longer ask the question, what should I do? You will automatically know what to do because you are operating from a place of knowing that you are in full control of your personal joy. You will follow your intuition and feelings and trust that the decisions you make are for your highest good.
We sympathize with the objections some of you may have regarding specific situations, but we are speaking to the general question, not to specifics. Once you allow yourself to sit with this principle and get a feeling for it, we assure you that you will see ways to apply it to the circumstances you have in mind. If you still feel challenged, then we invite you to reach out and we will address those specifics.
Know that the answers you seek are always available to you. Give yourself permission to think beyond your current boundaries and circumstances and you will find peace, comfort, and direction. You have total freedom to accept or reject the things you read. It matters not to us. Your path is yours to follow and your expression of joy – regardless of what form it takes – is an expression of our joy.
We rejoice with you, we celebrate with you, and we feel what you feel. We are always with you. Be well, friends.
About the Author
Appio Hunter is an author, speaker, spiritual guide, and a guy dedicated to raising our collective EQ. He uses his seminars and workshops to facilitate conversations about authenticity, alignment, awareness, and the experience of community, connection, and joy. Appio is also a weekly columnist with The Good Men Project and co-host of the Real Men Feel Show along with his good friend Andy Grant.